I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just gift wrapped bread.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize