Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
