If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
