I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I still have a little drunk in my system
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
