More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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