you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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