Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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