Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
FUCK WHALES
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
