put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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