It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
