even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Randomize
