After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
