get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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