I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I died a long time ago.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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