What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
