People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
