where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
