So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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