is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
