I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
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His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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