I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
