life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize