Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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