I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She needs sedatives and a leash
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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