Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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