I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
