i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
