More tranny stories later!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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