And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Well I just put wine in my tea
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
