i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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