btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I need to stop coming to work sober
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night