i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My ass is underappreciated
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
