It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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