To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
