I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
