how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
