so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
