do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize