Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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