I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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