I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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