im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
