i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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