OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
