Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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