They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
false alarm. still invincible.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
