That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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