He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
