someone threw a dead crab at me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize