He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
