Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
