i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
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i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
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His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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