What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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