There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
