i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
