Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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