we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
