Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
