I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
